There are no such things as birthdays. They were just days. Dates. Another passing -sun -up -sun - down. Another pattern.

People celebrate them, nonetheless. I did too.

They shower each other with gifts and pearls and elegant decorations. They wear beautiful silk dresses, fitting their curves and edges. They hug their loved ones. They took photos, upload it so the world could know, and celebrate every engagement it has reached.

(Not that it's a bad thing, tho. I am sorry if I wrote 'they' as a perspective, it is because I haven't done anything like that before. Well, who knows, I probably will in the future)

I did too, I celebrate mine every year. Last year it was indomie jumbo for breakfast. Today, it was McDonald's hot pancake with maple syrup and melted butter.

When I was younger, birthdays are all about opening gifts and collecting gift cards. Taping them on my cupboard as a souvenir afterward. We always gather at my grandma's house. My auntie and uncle will have to buy my younger sister a present too every December. My sister and I will race to unwrap the gifts, get surprised about what is in it and then have pretty pictures taken of us.

Sometimes it's all about cakes, and what is written on it. Other times it was all about parties, magicians, and showing off to your neighboring kids.

As you grow older, families grew apart. Gifts are no longer wrapped in fancy paper because its a waste of money and time. Most of the time they give you the money and you buy what you wanted on your own. Real calls transformed into window chats. Tears turn into emojis. Hugs turn into Cony and Brown.

Surprises will only surprise you when you have no clue. Most of the time they asked, what do you want for your birthday this year? Where are you going on your birthday this year? This, of course will eliminate all the difficulties and the disappointment of not getting the exact thing you want as a present.

And then, only real people who matter are the ones who get the memo to the party. Not a party tho, just a small get-together, with you, happily paying the bills. Pictures at the photo box is a must. Cakes and cupcakes aren't tho, because they can easily be replaced with anything creative.

I am not a person to get what I wanted as a present for my birthday, WELL, I know what I wanted to have. I eye on many things, and many people who asked me knew too. But my parents does not have to, they have given me life already. So I calmly come to wherever they wanted to go on my birthday trips.

But I do know what I picture as a perfect birthday this year. Just me, watching my Korean dramas, finishing my books that are piling up on the corner of my room, and an 8-hour sleep.

And attention. Showers of prayers and kind words from those faces who matters.

I got lots of them. Nice words I capture and save to keep on an album I made for me to see when I feel bad about myself.

But some faces, I still yearn.

Last year it was him. This year it was you.

And none of them come true.

Then, it came to me.

If birthdays is about pampering yourself, showering yourself with love and care, and letting yourself believe that you are special, why can't it be every day? Or any day?

If I woke up one day on April and decided to eat Pancakes for breakfast and Waffles for dinners, I do not sin, right?

I am going to do things that make me happy on my entire life, not only a day. If you did not wish me kind words today that would be okay, because you can do it tomorrow, or any day given. If today there are no get-togethers, or beautiful gift wraps, that is okay. If the books haven't been read today, it's okay. If I was not the happiest or the prettiest today, it's okay. 

Heck yeah, I have 365 days a year to do it.

Wouldn't it be fun? Having parents wish you kind words every day, give you wonderful surprise presents in random months of the year, throwing off gatherings and taking beautiful pictures, the whole year. I intend to be that kind of parent, so my kids won't be expectant every year for their birthdays, they will just see the day as it is,

They are just days.