-

A part of me, I call It stranger
This part of me, I find it danger
We saw the night, you fested out
Across time, well in my heart's smile
(Night Beds - 22)

Lately life has been confusing me with questions and answers and events that does not felt right in my chest. It felt strange and unfamiliar in a way I couldnt get used to. I'm getting too many information I could ever get from many different sources and force into trying to find one I truly believe in. But in fact

I did not know what to believe in

I did not know what I want and in the deepest heart of  mine, I dont want to know what I want. It scares me, you know, the future (or maybe life itself).

I am paralyzed because I dont know what I am, what I wanted to become or what I believe in. All of this questions supposed to have answers and I know what I should have answered it to but I just dont want to. Get it? Can anyone refer to my emotional train wreck right now?

Is it a fallacy just to turn my back on whatever my head's been thinking and just go along with life? To ignore everything and just continue to strive this unknowingness of mine?

I know, my posts came with too many questions no one will answers.

And so by then, damn.

Today you were far away
and I didn't ask you why
What could I say
I was far away
You just walked away
and I just watched you
What could I say

How close am I to losing you.
(The National - About Today)

trying to sound smart but cant
whatever forever
sarahannida